We want our guests to feel welcome don’t we? We understand how important first impressions are. So we launch a greeting ministry complete with “My name is…” name tags. We go after the bubbliest people that we can find and we strategically place them outside and at the front door. (If you are a smoker it’s a double bonus. You get to smoke and greet…two things you love to do at the same time.) Then, just to make sure that people feel welcome, we force you to stand up in the middle of the service and shake someone’s hand and pretend like you are happy to see them. As you are shaking their hand, you might as well say, “Hey, aren’t you the same person that I walked by and completely ignored earlier as I was in a hurry to catch up with my real friend?”
We do a pretty good job of being nice to our guests. But they aren’t looking for nice, they are looking for friendly. And friendliness cannot be achieved through a program anymore than lowering your cholesterol can be achieved by eating a Big Mac. A nice greeting program in an unfriendly church is like putting a pretty bow on a cow patty and thinking that we’re giving someone a nice gift.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if our church was so friendly that we didn’t need a greeting ministry to make guests feel welcome?
We’ve got change this! If the Church is God’s plan to bring the gospel to the World, being nice isn’t gonna cut it. We need to stop thinking that the world revolves around us and start genuinely being excited and honored that a guest would choose to step out of their comfort zone and visit our church. That’s a big deal! It should excite us to no end to think that a guest would choose to visit our church, giving us an opportunity to share the love of Jesus with them. The natural response should be authentic friendliness, not forced niceness.
How do we change this in our churches?
What can you do to help change it?
The natural response when being attacked is to defend. We don’t have to learn how to defend, we automatically do it. It’s comes standard in all human makes and models. When we know we’re in the wrong, we feel the need to defend ourselves by trying to justify our actions. When we know we’re in the right, we feel the need to defend our reputation. We somehow have been taught that if we don’t defend ourselves we are admitting that we are in the wrong, that our silence is somehow an admission of our guilt.
Jesus certainly had every reason to defend himself in front of the inquisition and insurrection he was facing. He could have defended his actions and possibly avoided some of the beatings that he faced. But he remained silent. Choosing instead to trust his heavenly Father for the outcome.
Occasionally, defending ourselves might be the wise thing to do. Many times it’s wise to keep our mouth shut. Defending requires discernment as well as listening to the Holy Spirit. When should we defend ourselves and when should we remain silent? I think the answer is hidden in our motivation. If our desire is to elevate ourselves in a situation, it’s best to remain silent. If the situation elevates God and could potentially lead someone closer to God, it might be wise to defend your actions and explain why you did what you did.
Recently, I was in a situation where I could have easily defended my actions and was tempted to. I felt God telling me, “you don’t have to defend yourself, I got this one Mike.” I just made the conversation about listening and seeking to understand the other person. Sometimes, the other person isn’t looking for your defense, they are just looking to throw stones at you. By the way, you know a person is just wanting to throw stones when it is a one-sided conversation and there is not one question trying to understand your point of view. Proverbs 23:9 says this, “Don’t bother talking sense to fools; they’ll only poke fun at your words.(MSG)”
There is great freedom in not defending. There is freedom in allowing God to be in control and trusting him for the outcome. The next time you find yourself in a situation where you are tempted to defend yourself. Ask the question…will this elevate me or elevate God? Extend grace and trust your heavenly Father. He’s perfectly capable of handling it on his own.
Jesus always sees people through the lens of anticipated redemption. Seeing them for who He intended them to be, rather than seeing them for who they really are.
The Russian writer and philosopher Fyodor Dostoevsky said, “ To love someone means to see him as God intended him.“ It’s this idea of seeing every person and treating them as kingdom contributors before they even know what the kingdom is. It means treating people as if they are already functioning in the body of Christ, giving them a picture of what could be and should be.
God has expanded my view of prayer beyond a verbal exchange between God and I. This idea of anticipated redemption is living out a prayer for people far from God. I believe that God sees the faith of our anticipation for people and answers it by drawing these people to himself. It’s prayer with feet. It’s living out our prayer life with anticipation.
It’s not our job to arrest people with our judgment, but rather by grace. Being arrested by judgment produces guilt, shame, hostility, and hopelessness. Being arrested by grace produces repentance, hope, worth, and redemption.
Try seeing and treating those far from God as already followers of God, as to win them through anticipated redemption.
Yesterday I posted the reasons why I hate Facebook. Today, I’ll give you the reasons why I love Facebook.
Reason #1 – It helps me to pray for people more.
I find myself praying for people as I read their status updates. When I see someone post something exciting that happened in their life, I find myself thanking God and celebrating with them in their blessing. When someone posts a something that they are struggling with, I pray that God will give them strength and reveal Himself through the difficulty. It can be a great tool used for knowing how to pray for people.
Reason #2 – It’s been a great tool to reconnect with old friends.
It’s been such a blessing to be able to reconnect with people that I might have never crossed paths with in life. I’ve been able to reconnect with college roomates, old neighbors, high school buddies. I recently reconnected with a college roommate that I haven’t seen in 20 years. We got together for dinner and a concert and had a great time! It probably would not have happened without Facebook connecting us. So, I’m thankful for this great tool!
Reason #3 – It’s been a great way to meet new friends.
I’ve been able to meet several new people that have led into face to face meetings. I’ve met several pastors through Facebook that since then have met face to face. We now keep in touch regularly.
I have met several people through Facebook that live in my community that have turned into friendships. We meet up from time to time over a cup of coffee. I wonder if I would have ever met them if it hadn’t been for Facebook?
So, my love/hate relationship with Facebook continues. For now, I’ve decided to keep my account open. The love for Facebook outweighs the hate.
What do you love about Facebook? Who have you been able to connect or re-connect with because of Facebook?
I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I think Facebook can be a great tool, but can also be a dangerous tool. There are times when I’m thankful for Facebook and there are other times that I consider shutting my account down.
Today, I’ll share the reasons why I hate Facebook, and tomorrow, I’ll give you the reasons why I love Facebook.
Reason #1 – It’s stalking at it’s finest!
We live in a voyeuristic society that likes to know about people for all the wrong reasons. When we want to know because we care about people, that’s great. But when we care to just know about people, it’s not so healthy. It’s a modern day version of peeking in someone’s windows only we have opened the blinds wide open for everyone to see in.
Reason #2 – It’s a HUGE time waster.
Just a quick look at Facebook can quickly turn into 30 minutes, 1 hour, 2 hours. Wow…where did the time go?
The World Wide Web is appropriately named. It is a web that is so easy to get tangled up in and sometimes hard to get out of.
Reason #3 – It’s become more about applications and less about connections.
It started out as a great way to connect with friends, and it’s turned into a cluttered mess of applications. It reminds me of MTV. You’re hard pressed to hear music or see music videos on MTV anymore. And Facebook is becoming more about Applications than it is about connections with people.
I don’t really care which Disney character you are most like, or what kind of lover you are, or what movie star you are most like. But, I do want to know how you are really doing. What’s going on in our life…I truly want to know. I joined Facebook for connections and relationships not applications.
What about you? What do you hate about Facebook?
