If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Matthew 5:41

I don’t like that verse. I would much rather it say, “if someone forces you to go one mile, tell him to take a hike.” When someone makes an unreasonable request of me or tries to take advantage of me, my natural response normally isn’t “sure…no problem, in fact here’s double!” But yet, that’s exactly what Jesus expects us to do.

Think about it…Jesus calls us to be fully available to be fully taken advantage of. It doesn’t seem fair, right, or fun does it? Now I’ve seen naive people allow this to happen to them without anyone knowing…as if they had “sucker” written on their foreheads. But Jesus isn’t asking us to be naive about it, but to be completely aware of it and do it anyway!

What might this mean for us today?

It means if someone says something hurtful about you, say something that blesses them.

It means if someone steals your idea, give them another idea and give them the credit for it.

It means if someone asks you for a ride to the airport, give them a ride plus carry their bags as well.

It means if someone that is an E.G.R.(Extra grace required) person wants to have lunch with you, you’re available and you pay for the meal.

It means if someone is dominating the conversation, continue asking them questions about their life.

It means if you are working your butt off and never hear “thank you” from your boss, you thank your boss for the opportunity to work for them.

It means if the neighbor’s dog poops in your yard, you clean up the poop in your yard and theirs.

This is the way of Jesus. What would happen if His followers lived this out every day? Do you think that we might make a difference in our world?

I made the statement in yesterdays post…

The absence of sexual boundaries is the presence of an imminent affair.

We often walk so close to the edge of sin that we leave no margin for error. We walk the tightrope with no safety net. Sometimes we dangle so close to sin that one wrong move and we’re dead meat. Boundaries serve as our safety net. If we can set our sexual boundaries away from the edge, we give ourselves plenty of warning of the imminent danger that lies ahead.

Here are 5 essential sexual boundaries to guard against an affair.

1. Flirting is never OK, unless it’s with your spouse. When you flirt you are sending a message (unintentionally or not) that you are interested and available. It’s a “green light” to the person to continue pursuing. Paul told Timothy, “treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”
2. Avoid being alone with anyone of the opposite sex. It might mean taking two cars. It might mean changing the meeting place so that it’s in public. It might mean hiring a “same-sex” administrative assistant if your job involves working alone with the person. Does this seem overly cautious? Maybe, but we have an enemy – Satan, that prowls around like a lion looking for a marriage to destroy! And the first mistake is to think that your marriage is invincible.
3. If you find yourself starting to be attracted to someone else who isn’t your spouse, or if someone is becoming attracted to you redefine the relationship quickly! It might mean changing your schedule to avoid contact. It might mean keeping your contact with the person to an absolute minimum. It might mean finding a new friend. Which is a lot better than losing your spouse!
4. Give your spouse complete access to your email, your phone history,  and your calendar. There are NO SECRETS except what you bought them for Christmas! Anything that is a secret now, becomes a wedge later. Be an open book.
5. When your mind starts to think about what it would be like to have an affair, think about the damage & destruction that it will do to your spouse, your family, and your relationship with God. You will ruin your spouse. You will ruin your kids. And you will break the heart of God. It’s simply not worth it.

What are some other boundaries that I might have missed?

I recently heard of yet another pastor that recently had an affair and gave another black eye to the Church and discredited the name of Jesus. Affairs don’t just “happen”. They are planned out. They are premeditated. There are countless people at this very moment planning to cheat on their spouse.

I wrote a post back in January titled “ 5 steps to a successful affair “. It is by far the most read post on my blog. My blog statistics tell me that the majority of the people find that post because they Googled “How to have a successful affair”. They are planning an affair. They are thinking through all of the angles. They are asking “how can I fly under the affair radar and not get detected?”

Tomorrow I will unpack 5 essential sexual boundaries that we need to implement in order to guard ourselves against an affair.

Affairs happen every time because of the absence of boundaries.

The absence of sexual boundaries is the presence of an imminent affair.

Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

Moses sent 12 spies into the promised land to do some reconnaissance. All 12 saw the same thing but only 2 came back ready for battle. 83% of the group voted to not move forward to claim the land that was promised to them by God Himself. 83% of the group cost the Israelites an additional 40 years of wandering in the desert. It was Mark Twain that said,

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

When the majority of the people tell you that you should quit…question it.

When the majority of the people tell you that it’s a bad idea…question it.

When the majority of the people tell you that your idea will never work…question it.

When the majority of the people tell you that the obstacles are too big…question it.

Always question the authority of the majority.

Never let the voice of the majority trump the voice of God’s authority. God uses the minority the majority of the time!

There is a little asterisk beside everything that you say and do. And below that is an unwritten phrase that says, “Whatever you say or do is subject to criticism.” You can’t escape criticism. Trust me, if you are a leader you are being criticized. And even if you are not hearing the criticism, someone else is. By nature, criticism leads to protection. Protection leads to defense. Growth rarely comes out of a defensive posture.

How you handle criticism today molds you into who you will be tomorrow.

Since criticism is inevitable, we might as well embrace it and use it to our advantage. Here are some thoughts on how to handle criticism to your advantage.

• Strip away the emotion from the criticism. This is hard to do since most criticism is saturated in emotion. But listen for what is being said underneath the emotions.
• Instead of trying to protect your motives or reputation, try to see the criticism from the eyes of the criticizer.
• Ask them to elaborate on anything that is not specific. Ask them for examples.
• Mine for the meat, but spit out the bones. There will often be both in the criticism. No need to respond to the bones, just spit em’ out. If you’re not sure if it’s meat or a bone, ask a few close friends to confirm it for you before you dismiss it as a bone.
• If there is legitimacy to the criticism, work through the following questions…

Is there a relationship that needs to be repaired?

Is there a principle that needs to be learned?

Is there a practice that needs to be changed

Is there a sin that needs to be repented of?

• Thank the person for helping you grow as a leader. They just gave you a gift.

How do you handle criticism?