I made the statement in yesterdays post…
The absence of sexual boundaries is the presence of an imminent affair.
We often walk so close to the edge of sin that we leave no margin for error. We walk the tightrope with no safety net. Sometimes we dangle so close to sin that one wrong move and we’re dead meat. Boundaries serve as our safety net. If we can set our sexual boundaries away from the edge, we give ourselves plenty of warning of the imminent danger that lies ahead.
Here are 5 essential sexual boundaries to guard against an affair.
- Flirting is never OK, unless it’s with your spouse. When you flirt you are sending a message (unintentionally or not) that you are interested and available. It’s a “green light” to the person to continue pursuing. Paul told Timothy, “treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”
- Avoid being alone with anyone of the opposite sex. It might mean taking two cars. It might mean changing the meeting place so that it’s in public. It might mean hiring a “same-sex” administrative assistant if your job involves working alone with the person. Does this seem overly cautious? Maybe, but we have an enemy – Satan, that prowls around like a lion looking for a marriage to destroy! And the first mistake is to think that your marriage is invincible.
- If you find yourself starting to be attracted to someone else who isn’t your spouse, or if someone is becoming attracted to you redefine the relationship quickly! It might mean changing your schedule to avoid contact. It might mean keeping your contact with the person to an absolute minimum. It might mean finding a new friend. Which is a lot better than losing your spouse!
- Give your spouse complete access to your email, your phone history, and your calendar. There are NO SECRETS except what you bought them for Christmas! Anything that is a secret now, becomes a wedge later. Be an open book.
- When your mind starts to think about what it would be like to have an affair, think about the damage & destruction that it will do to your spouse, your family, and your relationship with God. You will ruin your spouse. You will ruin your kids. And you will break the heart of God. It’s simply not worth it.
What are some other boundaries that I might have missed?
